it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
