Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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