he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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