Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Randomize