I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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