She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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