I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize