im drinking this country out of the recession.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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