Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize