I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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