why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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