its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
