the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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