I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
