During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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