yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
