We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
this boner is exhausting
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
