but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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