Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You need a sexual gate keeper
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
