I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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