garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
this just has baby written all over it
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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