On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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