My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
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We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
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I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
