Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I wish you could order shots online.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.