Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.