Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea. http://tfl.nu/a9pb
  Replies (51) Good night (1303) Bad night (11577)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home. http://tfl.nu/01mk
  Replies (9) Good night (814) Bad night (3935)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried. http://tfl.nu/sffp
  Replies (88) Good night (9833) Bad night (1792)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever. http://tfl.nu/ptta
  Replies (17) Good night (4236) Bad night (3863)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some. http://tfl.nu/oeo3
  Replies (6) Good night (2755) Bad night (1515)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n http://tfl.nu/8mzg
  Replies (10) Good night (970) Bad night (4770)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters. http://tfl.nu/cy91
  Replies (2) Good night (2200) Bad night (965)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway. http://tfl.nu/fbtk
  Replies (14) Good night (3592) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?

  (941): View more from Florida

  I was attacked by whores

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  You threw up on yourself again didn't you?

  (941): View more from Florida

  They were strong whores

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club? (941): I was attacked by whores (609): You threw up on yourself again didn't you? (941): They were strong whores http://tfl.nu/xoz8
  Replies (7) Good night (2130) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk. http://tfl.nu/bbnq
  Replies (6) Good night (1382) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work http://tfl.nu/ow4z
  Replies (9) Good night (538) Bad night (1087)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars. http://tfl.nu/4ihs
  Replies (2) Good night (561) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe? http://tfl.nu/wrdf
  Replies (0) Good night (453) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me. http://tfl.nu/3m36
  Replies (3) Good night (388) Bad night (713)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I am sorry. I am also on acid.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): I am sorry. I am also on acid. http://tfl.nu/9m14
  Replies (0) Good night (290) Bad night (120)

Randomize