Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life. http://tfl.nu/28dk
  Replies (54) Good night (1721) Bad night (4779)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.

  (571): View more from Virginia

  define virginity.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying. (571): define virginity. http://tfl.nu/5by8
  Replies (17) Good night (5882) Bad night (1686)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job

  (917): View more from New York City

  You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job (917): You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth. http://tfl.nu/dvgd
  Replies (15) Good night (6026) Bad night (1213)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both. http://tfl.nu/00se
  Replies (11) Good night (1146) Bad night (3932)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth http://tfl.nu/t0qb
  Replies (5) Good night (1362) Bad night (3648)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today http://tfl.nu/s99h
  Replies (2) Good night (2324) Bad night (1082)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila". http://tfl.nu/xbgt
  Replies (1) Good night (1718) Bad night (1063)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood. http://tfl.nu/swis
  Replies (4) Good night (750) Bad night (1587)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina. http://tfl.nu/tgoh
  Replies (11) Good night (1284) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  i think the last part kind of negates the first part there

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off. (847): i think the last part kind of negates the first part there http://tfl.nu/g7hy
  Replies (3) Good night (1075) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing. http://tfl.nu/yg2q
  Replies (3) Good night (982) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night. http://tfl.nu/wauu
  Replies (5) Good night (628) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night. http://tfl.nu/a6ju
  Replies (13) Good night (740) Bad night (978)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs" http://tfl.nu/7e2r
  Replies (1) Good night (775) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar. http://tfl.nu/13q9
  Replies (0) Good night (516) Bad night (222)

Randomize