Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.