If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
When did angry sex become our thing?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
