so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
