absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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