Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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