So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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