I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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