Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
