That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
