yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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