Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
