i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
