Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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