My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
