You don't have asthma, your pregnant
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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