just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
