I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
