why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
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