Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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