You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
