I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
