look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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