fuck your aforementioned shoe
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
