Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
