I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
