I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
