I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
