Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
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