Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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