So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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