i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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