Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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