If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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