Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Someone shattered a urinal.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
