I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
