yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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